Dear The Boy with Secrets,
Your chin tilts slightly upward as you look around the swaying room. Your fingers around my hips inch around my body, pulling me closer to you. My elbows rest on your shoulders and my arms extend behind. I thought I was lost in a dream, though your grasp kept me conscious. The music that surrounded us faded away into darkness. My eyes shut tight. My arms wrapped around your entire being of flesh and unspoken words. We cried on the inside. God forbid they see that we are human. . .
Your voice was soft and daring. I wanted our lips to seal the promise of abandonment but there was no way my heart would allow such happiness. Can you please tell me why you care. Why do you say those words that make me stay alive? I know that you will change one day, but why can’t I keep you from doing so? I want you forever. I want these teenage memories to end with a fairytale ending. I don’t want heartbreak to be the last page of our story. Can you please listen. I say time and time again that I love them. Though, I’ve never said these words to you. I’m scared that I don’t. . . I’m scared that a little girl is unable to learn what love is. This feeling I have isn’t just another impurity of my desire. I wish nothing of this. I have a promise I must keep, and you do not seem to mind. Love, tell me, why do you trick the hopeless and reward the lucky? Boy of secrets, why do you not leave?
- Current Mood: drained